For all of you who donate blood, thank you.  If you have ever wondered who receives it, well I got a pint of Mid-Michigan's finest last night.  The graft in my left bicep that I use for daily at home hemodialysis is like a garden hose.  A garden hose that sits under a steel rake that keeps getting stepped on. The act of puncturing the the hose repeatedly flattens it and makes the holes larger.  Those larger holes allow the water to come out faster.

It has been Shocktober at our house.  Instead of water coming out of the hose, I have had blood coming out of the worn out holes in my graft and down my arm.  Sure, I try to work up the hose where there are no holes, but puncturing virgin skin hurts.  Human nature to is to avoid pain.  To do that is to puncture where the scar tissue is; where the graft is flatter and has more holes.  As the blood comes out of the large holes it is under pressure and it takes more gauze and more pressure from me holding the gauze to stop the flow so that it can clot.  This can get to be a bit messy–Dexter messy.

I'm thankful that when needed my family steps up to hand me more gauze or help change the pads I use to protect the tray table that I use.  I feel terrible that my fifteen year old son has to sometimes help and wonder what impact it has on him emotionally.  But, he doesn't flinch and is just there to do whatever needs to be done.  Incredible.  My wife shares most of the burden with me.  Again, my guilt is heavy that she has to see me like this, but, she too doesn't question and gets elbow deep in to it.

This time we had this happen too many times in a row and before I knew it my moderate anemia plunged.  When you lose blood you lose the building block of blood, iron.    Without iron no matter how much Erythropoetin (yes, the stuff Lance used to increase oxygen carrying blood cells) I inject into my belly, the blood count just can't increase.  Kidneys normally make the protein that works with blood marrow to create red blood cells.  Without kidneys then it is very difficult for your body to produce red blood cells.  When you spill too many of those precious oxygen carrying nuggets on the table you are in for a world of hurt.  It is difficult to breath let alone climb the stairs.  Sleeping becomes your day.  The kind of sleep that doesn't replenish.

Because of your generosity, I was got up this morning and made a nice breakfast for my family.  A pint of blood generally increases hemoglobin by a point.  That point has made a tremendous difference today with little labored breathing and little coughing.  I'll probably have to sit on the couch and watch football the rest of this beautiful fall day, but I'll call it a success if I don't take a nap.

Thank you for donating blood.  It has made a difference in my life for me and my family today.

I enjoy commenting on Home Dialysis Central's Facebook Page.   Recently a young man posted about how he wasn't looking forward to going on dialysis and that he was scared.  Below was my response.

Jefferson you should be scared, life as you knew it both before you got sick and after will change completely. The unknown is difficult to comprehend. But my friend, let me tell you I have been through every type of dialysis and two failed transplants and have raised my fourteen year old son and ten year old daughter with my wife of 25 years at me side. I am still on dialysis with no chance of a successful transplant in my future. Every day that I hook up to dialysis I give myself the gift of life. A life that I choose to live the way I want. I've been doing this since 2001. Without dialysis there would be no choice for me. With dialysis every day is a new opportunity. It will suck until you take ownership. Learn to cannulate yourself early in your treatment - stick those big needles in your arm. Pay attention to how your machine is set up and how it runs. Don't just watch tv during your runs. Watch a little, but read or play a game too. Learn to ride the roller coaster of anemia. When your too tired don't beat yourself up or feel guilty. If managed it will pass and you'll have energy again. When you have energy do something. It will take time but always remember that you are the captain, your doc is your first mate and the rest are your staff - all working together for your optimum health. Jefferson, I love your name, I had a friend with the same name in high school. You will win at this, take the lumps as they come and remember that it always gets better because you believe in yourself.