"Wow that is more than my whole pay check."

“Wow that is more than my whole pay check.  What do you do?” asked Shondra with an innocent smile.  “I’m  an attorney,”  my wife responded, slightly embarrassed as she swiped her credit card.  We were at Sears last night purchasing clothes for our upcoming trip to Florida when we met Shondra.  I’ve been thinking of her and that exchange all day.

I think about how much I don’t know about Shondra.  Perhaps she has children.  Maybe not.  She could still be living with her mother, or she could be out on her own.  Whatever her circumstances, I’m sure it is very difficult for her to make ends meet.  I admire her simple honesty.  She masked no pride when she asked her straight forward question.  She simply wondered how on earth a family of four could buy so much all at once.  

What I do know about Shondra is that she is at a high risk for kidney disease.  I can tell this just by looking.  She is heavy set and African American.  Both of these characteristics place her in the high risk category.  For me it is difficult to see people who are at a high risk for kidney failure and not want to help them.  I had this same problems in 1990’s with recycling and water conservation.  Eventually my friends would put their right hand up and say, “talk to the hand, Erich.”  They had received the message and were very capable of making their own decisions - thank you very much.  Freedom to choose - this is the American way.  It is just difficult to stand by and watch people make poor choices, especially when I know what living without kidneys really entails.

My wife’s answer was equally honest and simple.  I’m not sure how it was received by Shondra.  Did it explain the situation?  Did it register with Shondra as an unimaginable accomplishment?  Did it inspire her?  I do know that it is a very rare occasion when we purchase that many clothes at one time.  Of course they are not just for the trip, but for the entire summer.  And, our kids are growing quickly.  Yet, something about that brief exchange reverberates in my mind. 

Sears is where I did my shopping with my mom when I was growing up.  It gives me a rooted feeling that though my personal circumstances have changed, my family is still shopping at “America’s store.”  In my youth most of my friends shopped there.  Many of us were being raised by mothers with limited income jobs.  Tough Skins were the official jeans of the neighborhood.

The exchange reminds me of how fortunate I am.  Of course it hasn’t been easy.  I don’t think that it ever is.  It is all relevant, isn’t it?  To explain to Shondra the many times that we’ve been dragged down only to have to pull ourselves up again wouldn’t change anything for her.  She would still be amazed that someone could spend what she makes in a couple weeks all at once on clothes.  

Despite my medical misfortunes and the hardships they have caused my family, I do feel very fortunate.  I was again reminded of this when today I went to my Nephrologist's office and saw a large man in a wheel chair at the foot of the stairs.  He was missing his right foot.  Diabetes comes to mind, which can often lead to kidney failure.  I passed by and ascended the stairs.  Which, even though I’m regularly working out, is still a chore.  I grab the handrail and meticulously take each step, feeling slightly winded when I reach the second floor.  Despite the difficulty, I am grateful that I have my feet and my mobility.  Sometimes dialysis seems like a minor inconvenience in light of the burdens of others.

It is this auspicious feeling that drives my desire to give back.  It is important for me to do whatever I can to help those at risk like Shondra to perhaps delay or even prevent kidney disease.  Sure, after ten years I can say that dialysis is a minor inconvenience.  But that is relative too.  Dialysis can sap the life out of some - out of many.  It certainly shortens life.  I can’t help Shondra to be an attorney, but I can help to make tools available to help her to lead a healthier life.  The National Kidney Foundation of Michigan offers a Beauty and Barber Shop program that is directed specifically at women like Shondra.  The program brings accessible information to a high risk population from a trusted source, their hairdresser.  Because of the money we raise, the National Kidney Foundation of Michigan can provide the Beauty and Barbershop program and many others that help real people learn how to live a more healthful and fruitful life.

Please help me to raise $20,000 for the National Kidney Foundation through my Paddling on Dialysis for Kidney Health 225 mile canoe journey.  Make a donation today using the link above to my secure fundraising page.  Thank you for your help.