I'm sitting here here at 2:30 this afternoon in my new athletic wear wondering whether if I should go to the gym and exercise or go upstairs and take a short nap. Andria is going to be late tonight, and I need to be my cheery dad-self when I go to pick up Jacob and Antonia starting at 3:30. We are planning on seeing Jack Sprat Low Fat World Tour tonight at the Wharton. You know, Jack Sprout from the mid-seventeenth century English nursery rhyme:
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.
I think going to see a play about eating low fat foods should be considered the equivalent of four sessions of exercise. I was planning on taking the kids to see 101 Dalmatians but four free tickets came our way, so nutritional theater here we come.
To exercise or to nap? Feeling fairly tired I'm just not sure if exercise will charge me up or wear me down. Interestingly, after I pick up Antonia I mention that I'm tired to which she says, "exercise always wakes me up." Kids what do they know? Instinctively, I head up for a nap. Over the past ten years my instincts have evolved to a more protective cocoon like flee response rather than the natural fight instinct I once had. That may be o.k. since the old instinct often got me in trouble. I'm at the foot of the stairs about to take the first step and the futuristic electronic synth tone of my phone chimes. Fifteen minutes earlier, Jacob had called me fifteen asking for clarification on the note of things to turn in and ask his teacher that his mom had placed in this binder this morning. In case it is him again, I answer. "Hi, this is Tonya from ATT I am five minutes away and can come fix your problem now."
Resiliency. To some degree we are all resilient. It is a very important survival mechanism. Having been chronically ill for ten years and having dealt with ten years of infertility (I suppose it has been twenty years, though we stopped counting after Jacob was born) I have come to rely on my resiliency. While it was somewhat of a disappointment when the phone rang, I saw it as a sign the nap was not to be. Instead, I sat down and started to type since I can't leave to go workout.
The ATT Service Tech Tonya is here because two hours earlier when ATT Service Tech George left after fixing my DSL he forgot to make sure my phone line was good. It wasn't until I went to make a call that I found out it wasn't. George was here because on Monday, ATT Service Tech Manny came to upgrade my house to UVERSE which would give my sad little DSL line a heroic boost. It wasn't until Manny got to the local HUB that he found out that I was a few hundred feet too far for UVERSE. Everything was working fine when he left until Tuesday. After some investigation today, George found out the home office forgot to reconnect my DSL. Tonya just found out that George had inadvertently shorted the phone line. How do they stay in business? That was a lot of work to give me the same service I had on Sunday. The idea did cross my mind to switch to Comcast, but I really like my email address. Resiliency allows me to see this bungling as a comedy of errors and not a tragic drama. I was so relieved to get reconnected that I let the frustration of my wasted time drift away.
Andria is also very resilient though her acute instincts remain intact. Last night Antonia's sighing woke her. Antonia told her that she had a bloody nose to which Andria asked how do you know as she turned on the light - blood was all over her bedding. As she was cleaning this up at 3:00 a.m., Jacob who has asthma was coughing and having difficulties. While she was checking on Jacob my dialysis machine alarmed. I attended my machine and managed to get to the end of my dialysis run only to have forgotten to clamp my arterial line when I was done. That is the line that is connected to the top of my fistula which is my bicep via a large needle. Because of my own rough night tending my alarming machine, I am groggy when I go to disconnect my machine lines from my needle lines in my arm and sure enough blood spills all over the bed from that unclamped arterial line -- another CSI like mess. I can't really help clean it up because I need to spend the next fifteen minutes pulling the needles from my arm and holding my sites (holes in my arm) until they stop bleeding. Because of her resiliency, Andria is able to lightly step over to my side of the bed and attend to the mess, before she simply goes about getting ready for her day. She is probably relieved that our six month old puppy Cassie hasn't barked to go out yet.
There was a time that I fainted at the sight of blood. Those days are long gone. Resiliency brother, resiliency. Now when I am dealing with a spill or a reluctant clot, Jacob and Antonia just watch with curiosity. Daddy bleeding just doesn't phase them. Of course, Antonia was none too thrilled with her own bloody nose. I hope these experiences are fortifying them and not scarring them for life.
To exercise or to nap? Today it will be neither. I'll have to make do with a hearty serving of deliciously healthy theater.
Dialyze for the Prize.
There was a time that I fainted at the sight of blood. Those days are long gone. Resiliency brother, resiliency. Now when I am dealing with a spill or a reluctant clot, Jacob and Antonia just watch with curiosity. Daddy bleeding just doesn't phase them. Of course, Antonia was none too thrilled with her own bloody nose. I hope these experiences are fortifying them and not scarring them for life.
To exercise or to nap? Today it will be neither. I'll have to make do with a hearty serving of deliciously healthy theater.
Dialyze for the Prize.
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