~ Nike
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. "
~ Yoda "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
~ Lao Tzu"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."
~ Will Rogers
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."
~ Zig Ziglar
Sometimes even the greatest of motivational phrases aren't enough to overcome anemia. I started out last week with the best of intentions. I weighed in to get a baseline with my Wii Fitness Trainer. The short squat avatar of my Wii Me is now seared onto my frontal lobe. When I look into a mirror the image I see is a recall of my Wii Me. The cute little chunky Me is standing there smiling and waving, just waiting to play. You would think that would be enough to motivate me to jump on the treadmill and run as fast as I can to escape the stare of the happy little hobbit Me. But alas, even this unbelievable portrayal of how I see myself isn't enough to overcome a low hemoglobin.
Anemia is just one of the comorbidities that people like me who are on dialysis face. As I undertake the journaling of this journey of Paddling on Dialysis for Kidney Health, I want to ensure that it is kept light hearted and enjoyable to follow. However, at the root, we are dealing with a serious subject - kidney disease and chronic illness. While motivational phrases are necessary to stimulate action, it is important that I don't gloss over the real obstacles to achieving success.
I want to step back for a moment to when I proposed this project to my wife, Andria. At first she was skeptical and as she realized the project was picking up steam, she became worried. These ten years that I have been on dialysis have not been easy for the four of us and it has been particularly difficult for Andria. For the first few years we weren't even sure of my survival. After a worrisome evening she would finally fall asleep beside me not knowing if I would awaken the next morning. All too often she had to think about raising our son and then our daughter without me. It was only a year after the last of my failed kidney transplants (she donated her kidney to me for my first) that we began to see some stability in our lives. The stability became much more consistent when I moved from three times a week in-center hemodialysis to daily short term hemodialysis at home. It has only improved as I moved to nocturnal daily hemodialysis at home.
In order for me to do this project, Andria insisted that we make sure my nephrologist was on board. She didn't want me to die of a heart-attack now that I was going to start a strenuous exercise program. Of course, the strenuous part of the exercise program hasn't quite started. Actually the exercise part of the program hasn't started yet either. But, I did get cleared my nephrologist, Dr. Fareha Kazi.
A quick note on Dr. Kazi, she was a Fellow at the University of Michigan when I was there as my kidneys were failing and also while I received the gift of life from Andria. After completing her Fellowship she moved into an existing practice in Lansing. After my second failed transplant I realized that there were no miracle treatments in my future and that maintenance dialysis was what was left for me. With no reason to continue at the U of M I sought out a nephrologist in Lansing and to my surprise found Dr. Kazi. Over the past five years she has been a very progressive and supportive physician as we have worked together to help me have a prolonged and productive life.
With a "clean" bill of health, relatively speaking, Andria came on board realizing that there was no stopping me now. Of course what seems to be stopping me now is 10.5 hemoglobin. Back in the day it would be nothing for me to run five miles a day. Of course, in the day I had a hemoglobin of 14.0. But thankfully our bodies are resilient. Even when diseased, we seem to establish a homeostasis or balance with our limitations. While anemia may be inhibiting me to undertake strenuous exercise, it hasn't stopped me from grocery shopping, seeing to my children's needs, and walking the dog. Of course, perhaps it is Andria suggests, that I'm just cold and unmotivated, hmmm. How to discern the difference?
I am getting iron infusions weekly because my iron saturation is low. This is just one of those things that happens to people on dialysis. I'm also injecting myself twice weekly with the performance enhancing drug Epogen. This brings a whole different meaning to the word performance. While EPO my help Lance Armstrong's cohorts get through Ventoux it often helps dialysis patients just get out of bed.
Last week I did indulge in some Wii yoga. While my Warrior Pose garnered trainer status, my Palm Tree swayed in the breeze, my Half Moon bayed, and my Tree came crashing down. I also signed up for two dumbell classes at my local community center. Unfortunately the one that I would have been at right now didn't have enough participants. I have no idea why folks aren't available for a 9:00 exercise class. I see all my grey-haired friends shopping at Meijers at this time, surely some of them could take the time to get their AARP butts over to the gym so that my class can happen. When you are medically disabled and are on permanent disability you live in a world of stay at home moms and retires during the day. For me it is like living my life in slow-motion. It is surreal and often frustrating, but in the final analysis, "it is what it is" and I make do. Quite frankly I was hopping to lead the curve at my dumbell class, although that was probably wishful thinking. There are some pretty fit seniors out there, and lets not get started on those power walking mamas. They haven't cancelled my Thursday class so I will keep my fingers crossed that the class will go.
I am certain that the right combination of iron, EPO and motivational phrases is just around the corner and soon I will be sweating and panting out of breath. I mean more than when I go down stairs to get the laundry.
When you shoot for the moon and you come up short, you still end up among the stars.
~ Les Brown
What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
~ Napolean Hill
Go as far as you can see, when you get there you'll see further.
~ Latvian proverb
Anemia is just one of the comorbidities that people like me who are on dialysis face. As I undertake the journaling of this journey of Paddling on Dialysis for Kidney Health, I want to ensure that it is kept light hearted and enjoyable to follow. However, at the root, we are dealing with a serious subject - kidney disease and chronic illness. While motivational phrases are necessary to stimulate action, it is important that I don't gloss over the real obstacles to achieving success.
I want to step back for a moment to when I proposed this project to my wife, Andria. At first she was skeptical and as she realized the project was picking up steam, she became worried. These ten years that I have been on dialysis have not been easy for the four of us and it has been particularly difficult for Andria. For the first few years we weren't even sure of my survival. After a worrisome evening she would finally fall asleep beside me not knowing if I would awaken the next morning. All too often she had to think about raising our son and then our daughter without me. It was only a year after the last of my failed kidney transplants (she donated her kidney to me for my first) that we began to see some stability in our lives. The stability became much more consistent when I moved from three times a week in-center hemodialysis to daily short term hemodialysis at home. It has only improved as I moved to nocturnal daily hemodialysis at home.
In order for me to do this project, Andria insisted that we make sure my nephrologist was on board. She didn't want me to die of a heart-attack now that I was going to start a strenuous exercise program. Of course, the strenuous part of the exercise program hasn't quite started. Actually the exercise part of the program hasn't started yet either. But, I did get cleared my nephrologist, Dr. Fareha Kazi.
A quick note on Dr. Kazi, she was a Fellow at the University of Michigan when I was there as my kidneys were failing and also while I received the gift of life from Andria. After completing her Fellowship she moved into an existing practice in Lansing. After my second failed transplant I realized that there were no miracle treatments in my future and that maintenance dialysis was what was left for me. With no reason to continue at the U of M I sought out a nephrologist in Lansing and to my surprise found Dr. Kazi. Over the past five years she has been a very progressive and supportive physician as we have worked together to help me have a prolonged and productive life.
With a "clean" bill of health, relatively speaking, Andria came on board realizing that there was no stopping me now. Of course what seems to be stopping me now is 10.5 hemoglobin. Back in the day it would be nothing for me to run five miles a day. Of course, in the day I had a hemoglobin of 14.0. But thankfully our bodies are resilient. Even when diseased, we seem to establish a homeostasis or balance with our limitations. While anemia may be inhibiting me to undertake strenuous exercise, it hasn't stopped me from grocery shopping, seeing to my children's needs, and walking the dog. Of course, perhaps it is Andria suggests, that I'm just cold and unmotivated, hmmm. How to discern the difference?
I am getting iron infusions weekly because my iron saturation is low. This is just one of those things that happens to people on dialysis. I'm also injecting myself twice weekly with the performance enhancing drug Epogen. This brings a whole different meaning to the word performance. While EPO my help Lance Armstrong's cohorts get through Ventoux it often helps dialysis patients just get out of bed.
Last week I did indulge in some Wii yoga. While my Warrior Pose garnered trainer status, my Palm Tree swayed in the breeze, my Half Moon bayed, and my Tree came crashing down. I also signed up for two dumbell classes at my local community center. Unfortunately the one that I would have been at right now didn't have enough participants. I have no idea why folks aren't available for a 9:00 exercise class. I see all my grey-haired friends shopping at Meijers at this time, surely some of them could take the time to get their AARP butts over to the gym so that my class can happen. When you are medically disabled and are on permanent disability you live in a world of stay at home moms and retires during the day. For me it is like living my life in slow-motion. It is surreal and often frustrating, but in the final analysis, "it is what it is" and I make do. Quite frankly I was hopping to lead the curve at my dumbell class, although that was probably wishful thinking. There are some pretty fit seniors out there, and lets not get started on those power walking mamas. They haven't cancelled my Thursday class so I will keep my fingers crossed that the class will go.
I am certain that the right combination of iron, EPO and motivational phrases is just around the corner and soon I will be sweating and panting out of breath. I mean more than when I go down stairs to get the laundry.
When you shoot for the moon and you come up short, you still end up among the stars.
~ Les Brown
What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
~ Napolean Hill
Go as far as you can see, when you get there you'll see further.
~ Latvian proverb
After writing this I took Cassie our six month old Chocolate Lab for a walk and it was cold. I must have the right combination. Dialyze for the Prize
ReplyDelete